


Life After Peeta Mellark

by EvilPeaches



Category: Hunger Games (2012), Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Dubious Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Time, Forgiveness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-27
Updated: 2012-08-27
Packaged: 2017-11-13 00:31:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/497387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvilPeaches/pseuds/EvilPeaches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katniss wishes that she had died with him in the arena, but fate is a cruel master, as is the Capitol and learning how to accept the man you hate isn't exactly easy either. AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life After Peeta Mellark

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted this over at fanfiction.net and it was rather popular with over 100 reviews. I was pretty proud. It was a gift to my reviewers from another Cato/Katniss story I wrote. However, someone decided to report my story for being "TOO EXPLICIT" for the M rating. Therefore, without any warning or notice, the admins removed the story and I have had people hounding me to put it back up. As if I would put it back up on fanfiction.net!
> 
> Anyway, here we are. This story spans a long time period of nearly ten years, starting from the end of the Games. It is a tale telling of the long and hard road of forgiving and never forgetting. It's a long ass ride and I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> **Disclaimer:** No, I do not own The Hunger Games or any of the characters. Those belong to Suzanne Collins

 

It felt like her heart was breaking all over again. The feeling of despair, of hopelessness, of _disgrace,_ all of it flooded her mind and body. “You can’t ask this of me,” Katniss Everdeen uttered with horror.

President Snow’s cold laughter filled the room. He walked around his desk and cocked his hip to the side so that it rested upon the fine mahogany. “My dear Katniss, I can ask you to do whatever I like. It is your choice to accept or not.”

Katniss struggled with the feelings rising in her chest. She struggled with the urge to vomit on the fine marble floor beneath her feet. “And if I choose to reject this offer of yours? What will you do to me then?”

His icy blue eyes glittered with amusement. “Oh, it is quite simple. If you choose to reject my offer, your family will die. Your friends will suffer. I only care about the amusement of the Capitol, of its people. If you continue to disrupt it with your rebellious ways, I will destroy you and everything you love. I was gracious enough to spare your life in the arena, at that last final moment as you cried over Peeta Mellark’s dead body. You were dead the moment you stopped fighting, but I stopped the killing strike moments before it touched your skin. You owe me your life, Miss Everdeen.”

Katniss blinked away the tears threatening to spill down her face. She could not afford to look weak, even in the face of despair. “So I have no choice then,” she said bitterly, “I have to accept this…this travesty of an offer you have given me.”

The President only smiled at her unhappy tone. He knew damn well what his offer made the girl feel, and he simply didn’t care. Her life belonged to him, to the Hunger Games. To the Capitol. “It would be wise of you to accept. I am sure it will not be so terrible for you. You may even enjoy some aspects of it.”

Katniss bit her lip to keep from screaming. Oh, how she wanted to tear his smiling face off, to rip his intestines right from his belly while he stood there laughing at her. “How can you say that? He killed…” her voice broke as she struggled to say the name without crying, “…he killed Peeta. I can’t touch him. I can’t look at his face. I would rather _die_.”

An ounce of humor slid off of President Snow’s face. “No, you will not die. If I have to ensure that you live the rest of your life in misery, alone, and with all your loved ones dead, I will. Do not make me do that, Miss Everdeen.”

Katniss felt her lips begin to tremble with emotion. _This can’t be happening, this can’t be happening,_ kept running through her mind like a mantra. “Fine, I accept your…offer. I just. I just don’t know what to do. I’m not experienced with these things.”

The amusement flooded back into President Snow’s face. He knew he had won the battle. This victor from District 12 would no longer be remembered as the rebellious star crossed lover of the sacrificed Peeta Mellark, oh no. She would be remembered as one of the only victors to have a child. Her child would be the offspring of two victors, an unheard of feat, and the Capitol would be so in love with the idea.

So in love.

The Capitol would see him as a merciful leader and all would fall under his control again.

“Miss Everdeen, I can assure you that the Tribute from District 2 will take good care of you. You don’t need to worry your pretty little head about anything. Just concern yourself with having the child. That’s all I require.”

Tears stained Katniss’s face now. “That can’t be all you require. If I have a child, what will you do to it? Send it into the Hunger Games for the Capitol’s amusement? You sick, disgusting monster.”

President Snow laughed heartily. “Oh, so much simpler than that my dear child. When the child is old enough, I just want some press coverage, I want the child to come to the Capitol, for everyone to adore.”

“So you would make my child a circus freak, entertainment for everyone?”

He only nodded once. “Something like that.”

There was silence in the room as Katniss thought hard on the options. Anger and hatred were coursing through her body, and she was trapped in a nightmare that she could not escape. The only boy she had ever kissed had been…Peeta. How could President Snow expect her to…to do _that_ with the boy who had killed Peeta, the boy who had screamed in pure unadulterated fury when President Snow had stopped him from cutting her head off at the last moment in the arena?

She felt her heart turn to ice. She wanted to kill him. “If I do this, how are you to make sure I don’t just strangle him to death while his guard is down? I would gladly kill him and face execution, my revenge would be complete. I’m sure the Capitol would just love losing both of their new victors,” she said caustically.

President Snow touched her face gently, and tilted her chin up so that she was looking directly into his eyes. “We have drugs for that, if you require them. To make you complacent”

Katniss recoiled. “Drugs?”

They did not have recreational drugs in District 12, at least none that Katniss had ever heard of. She knew the richer Districts had drugs, lots of drugs, along with the Capitol. District 1 and 2 were known for having drugs that could make you hallucinate, or high. Katniss didn’t know if any of these things sounded fun to her. She preferred to be in control.

“Yes, drugs, Katniss. We have drugs here in the Capitol beyond your wildest dreams. They are at your disposal, all you have to do is ask,” President Snow said calmly.

He escorted Katniss to the door, and just as her hand fell on the knob, she turned and looked up at him sharply. “I have one condition.”

President Snow frowned at this, displeased. “What is it? You know I may or may not agree to it.”

“You will agree to this, I’m sure. That _monster_ is to have nothing to do with my child. When the child is born, they are coming to District 12 to live with me. The child will not go to District 2,” Katniss said harshly, her grey eyes fierce.

The President considered her words for a few moments. What did it matter to him if the father had no part in raising the child? The more he thought about it, the less he cared. “It will be as you wish, Miss Everdeen.”

She turned to walk away when he stopped her. “Oh, and Miss Everdeen…your child will never have to worry about the Hunger Games. Be grateful I am such a merciful leader.”

She stared at him for a moment, as if unsure of the truth of his words. If he was lying he showed no outward signs of it. So, instead of asking questions, Katniss nodded to him to show her acknowledgement.

Then she was gone.

Gone into Haymitch Abernathy’s arms where she finally let the cries rip from her throat. “Peeta’s _dead_ , he’s _gone_ , and of course Snow has to come up with the worst punishment for me! I don’t know what to do,” she cried.

Haymitch stroked her hair softly, his features unreadable. He knew the cruelty of the Capitol well, and he knew that President Snow always devised new ways to make victors suffer. He wished he did not have to watch his student suffer through any of this. “You have no choice, sweetheart. You have to do what he says.”

“ _This isn’t right_!”

Haymitch winced at the shriek as it pierced his eardrums. “I know it isn’t, Katniss, but we don’t control what happens to us. He controls our future.”

Unaware of the tension in the room, Effie tottered in, all smiles. “There’s to be a celebration tonight! I’m so excited; we are going to make the best impression, I’m sure, as long as we all behave.”

The smile on her face seemed to crack slowly as she took in the scene before her. “Oh dear, what is going on? Haymitch, why are you filling that flask? I’ve told you, the drinking _needs_ to stop, it ruins our image!”

Haymitch continued to pour the clear liquid into the silver flash slowly, defiantly. “Katniss has received some bad news from President Snow, which has upset her greatly. The flask is for her, well mostly. I might have some while I’m at it.”

Effie seemed utterly affronted by this. “You will _not_ give a young girl alcohol! Haymitch, stop yourself right now-”

He waved her off. “Oh, sit down and give your damn feet a rest woman.”

Effie sat down and visibly relaxed as the weight was taken off of her feet. She glared at Haymitch as he handed Katniss the flask, and grimaced as the girl took a long sip. Katniss coughed briefly as the fiery liquid touched her throat. Effie pursed her lips and tried to say cheerily, “Well, Katniss, tonight is a big night indeed. The whole Capitol is so excited to see you, and the party will be delicious. Aren’t you excited, my dear?”

Excited for what? Peeta was gone. There was only… _him_ left.

Katniss paled immediately, her voice shaky as she said, “Indeed. I’m so excited that I fear I might faint. Excuse me, I need rest.”

Effie watched Katniss get up and called after her, “Cinna will need to see you later this afternoon! Don’t miss your appointment with him!”

Katniss didn’t answer; she walked into her bedroom and shut the door behind her, the flask still in her hand. It was in the darkness of her room that she lay on her back and stared at the ceiling, thinking of the life and love she could have had if only the boy with the bread had lived. It was all lost now, and her life was a toy for Snow to play with for all eternity.

Outside of the room, Effie turned to Haymitch in confusion. “I don’t understand, what is wrong with her? I know it is hard to lose a loved one, but honestly, a huge party is going to be held in her honor! She should act a little more grateful.”

Haymitch looked at her with disgusted eyes. “No, you don’t understand, do you? If you haven’t heard yet, the King’s Suite in the River Grand is being prepared for her.”

Effie’s eyes widened as Haymitch said the name of the most exclusive hotel in the Capitol. “Why is she being set up there?”

Haymitch took a swig right out of the vodka bottle beside him and said sarcastically, “For the after party, of course.”

Effie still was not grasping the situation. “Are…are we all going there then?”

Haymitch shook his head. “No, just Cato from District 2.”

Effie’s hand flew to the base of her throat, a nervous twitch of hers. It was then that she understood, and a solemnity fell over her. She didn’t say anything for a few moments more and looked utterly downtrodden. “Haymitch, hand me a glass. I think I’ll have a drink,” Effie said sadly.

Haymitch obliged.

 

:::

 

_His body was broken and bleeding on the ground and Katniss threw herself down beside him, watching the light die from his beautiful blue eyes. “Peeta, please don’t. I…I can fix this I swear,” Katniss said, denial of his impending doom washing over her._

_He only smiled at her, his shaking hand brushing her cheek gently. “It’s alright, Katniss. You are going to have to let me go.”_

_Tears were spilling from her eyes, “No, I won’t ever let go,” she said, choking on her sobs._

_Within moments his heart stopped beating, unable to pump life into his broken veins. Katniss hovered over his body, her mind numb. The fire within her gutted out, just like that. Then a shadow fell over her form._

  
:::  
  
  
It was hours later that Cinna came for Katniss, preparing her in a dress of pure gold, real diamonds adorning it and woven into her hair, which was piled up on her head with elegant curls. She glittered like a star, like an angel, but the look upon her face suggested she had fallen from grace. She didn’t speak the entire time that he spent making her beautiful, but Cinna didn’t need to hear words to understand how she felt. He simply knew, and although he knew making her the most beautiful woman in the Capitol would not make her happy tonight, he had to try anyway.

Cinna nearly jumped out of his skin when there was an unexpected knock at the door. He motioned for one of the other stylists to open it for him as he worked on Katniss’s makeup. It was to his everlasting surprise that the servant standing there was wearing a badge from District 2. “What do you want,” Cinna all but growled, furious at everything and nothing.

The servant raised an eyebrow arrogantly and held out a slim box. “My master sends his regards.”

Katniss looked sick and turned away. “I don’t want it,” she hissed, “take it back to your master.”

“He will only send me back if you do not accept,” the servant replied.

“Just set it on the table, we will get to it later,” Cinna stated coldly, stroking Katniss’s back.

The servant nodded and set the slim, black box down and walked out. Cinna returned to working with the makeup. It was an hour later when he finally went to the box and held it out to Katniss. She shook her head, “You open it, I don’t want to touch it.”

Cinna nodded in understanding and slowly opened the box. He sucked in his breath in shock, turning the open box to face Katniss, whose eyes widened in disbelief. “That could feed the entire Seam for years…” she uttered.

In the box lay a necklace filled with diamonds of all sizes, glittering so bright that it almost hurt to look at it. Cinna lifted it carefully and held it to Katniss’s neck. She jerked away, still stunned by the sheer beauty and wealth of the necklace. “I can’t wear that. Take it away!”

Cinna shook his head and said, “No, you need to wear it. If you don’t, Cato will notice.”

“I don’t care about his hurt pride,” Katniss snapped.

“You should, you are the one that has to be locked in a room with him all night. Or…more than one night if you don’t succeed the first time,” Cinna said carefully.

Katniss was silent for a moment, her eyes on the diamonds. “Fine,” she said finally, turning away from him so that he could put it on her.

Cinna carefully clasped the necklace around her throat, the diamonds completely covering her neck in a choker fashion, dipping all the way from her throat down to the tops of her breasts. The cost of the necklace had to be extensive. Cinna stepped away from her and had her spin for him. She was stunning, and she almost seemed to be on fire once more because of the fiery gleam of the diamonds adorning her dress, neck, and hair.

Katniss fingered the diamonds around her neck. “I would give this all away just to see Peeta one more time,” she whispered.

Cinna closed his eyes and felt his heart break for her. “I know.”

  
:::

 

The party was grand, far grander that Effie would have ever expected. President Snow certainly had not skimped out on this event. The grand hall was decorated extravagantly, and everyone who was anyone was there to see the two new victors of the Hunger Games. The fact that President Snow had allowed there to be two victors had been an amazing feat all on its own. Aside from that people were also probably there because they had heard the booze was free, at least that was why Haymitch was there.

Effie had mingled for the first half an hour, nervously waiting for Katniss to show up. So far she had been mysteriously absent, not that Effie could truly blame the girl since she knew what waited for her at the end of the night. Her eyes were drawn to the side of the room where many of the District 1 and 2 sympathizers had gathered. In middle stood Cato, a glorious and powerful figure in his expensive suit. His surprising charisma bled through his brutal exterior as he charmed the pants off of the people around him.

Effie hated him and his carefree laugh, and she didn’t really hate many people. She adored Katniss, the slum girl from the Seam, the girl who had grown on her over time. Katniss did not deserve any of this pain being bestowed upon her. Effie turned away from Cato and his large fan club and looked for Haymitch. It was not hard to locate him since he had made good use of the open bar.

Just as Effie reached him, the whole room went silent, as if in awe. Effie turned around and her jaw dropped open. She slapped Haymitch on the arm absently, causing him to turn around and look as well. There, at the top of the grand staircase stood Katniss in all her golden finery, sparkling everywhere. Diamonds glittered all over her body, and she looked like a princess, not matter how lost and broken she looked.

She was breathtaking.

There was loud applause as everyone welcomed her to the party, excited to finally see Katniss, the Girl on Fire. The girl smiled tightly to keep up appearances, and slowly descended the stairs, unsure in her heels. Effie’s eyes were drawn once more to the other side of the room, to the other victor. The smile had been wiped off of his face, and in place of it was his arrogant, cold mask as he watched his soon to be lover enter the party. If he was pleased by Katniss’s appearance, Effie certainly couldn’t tell. Cato’s green-blue eyes followed Katniss the whole way down, like a hawk.

Katniss soon made her way over to Effie and Haymitch, uncomfortable in the large crowd as usual. “I feel sick,” she whispered to them.

Haymitch simply filled a glass of whiskey and shoved it into her hand. “I’ve felt sick ever since I won the games. Drink this; it sure helped me get through the years, sweetheart.”

“You look beautiful though,” Effie said, trying to be helpful, “and look at that necklace! Where did Cinna find that? I’ve never seen anything like it!”

“Thank you,” Katniss replied vaguely, smiling slightly for Effie’s benefit although her stomach was rolling.

They spoke and drank for awhile before Katniss was snatched away by some Capitol admirer for a dance. The man spun her around and around the room, causing Katniss to feel more and more dizzy. Everything became a blur as she drank more, feeling the burn in her stomach. It had tasted bad at first, but Haymitch had been correct when he said it would taste better eventually. Pretty soon, everything, even the vodka tasted like water. It was about that time that Haymitch told her she needed to stop and actually start drinking some water before she ended up in the bathroom.

Caesar found her at some point and pulled her onto the dance floor. Katniss tried to focus on his blue hair as he spoke to her animatedly. He was a good dancer and that made up for Katniss’s lack of skill in that department. “So tell me, my darling girl, I’ve heard some interesting rumors about you and a certain exclusive hotel,” he chuckled conspiratorially.

Katniss felt her stomach drop and the alcohol seemed to boil sickly in her blood. “What interesting rumors have you heard?”

He grinned broadly, his teeth a blinding white. “I’ve heard you have moved on from young Mr. Mellark already. Is it true?”

Katniss stumbled. Caesar quickly grabbed her before she fell to the ground in an unflattering manner. After he had straightened her, Katniss said, “If what you are suggesting is that I want to be with that freak from District 2, then you are sorely incorrect.”

Caesar cocked his head to the side as if confused. “He’s a handsome young man; surely it wouldn’t be too difficult for him to grow on you.”

She ripped her hand from his grasp and stormed away. The nerve of these Capitol people! They acted like you could love and just…move on to someone new! In fact, they seemed to believe that you could simply move on to the person that knocked off your last love interest.

Sickening people.

She tried to keep up with the continued conversation with her admirers, but it was so hard to talk straight. After her unfortunate dance with Caesar, Katniss had found more bubbly drink to keep her deceptively happy for a few moments more. Then she found something else sitting on a table and started to drink that too. Suddenly, a hand took the drink right from her grasp. “I think you’ve had enough, Girl on Fire,” said a deceptively smooth voice.

Katniss felt her whole demeanor switch like a finger snap. She turned and sneered at the person who took her drink, “I’ll do what I want. Give it back!”

She couldn’t see the person standing beside her, her vision was just too blurry at this point. She could see an outline though, and the person holding her champagne had started to drink it. “Nah,” the person said smugly, “I think I’ll keep it. See you later.”

She mouthed their final words – _see you lat_ er- soundlessly as she faintly watched the person walk away. “Jerk,” she muttered, not putting two and two together.

She’s done. She’s finished. She’s angry and wants to go to bed because she has had enough of this crap for one night. She storms out of the party and into the hall, blinking as it becomes dark compared to the brightness of the party. “Miss, you are not allowed to go back to your room,” said an empty voice.

Katniss whips around and glares, seeing the forms of two men. “Is that so? Who are you?”

“We are your escorts to the hotel. President Snow sent us to ensure you get there.”

Katniss felt dread creep into her at these words. Of course. Snow would send someone to make sure she did as she was told. Did Snow intend to watch her tonight, through a camera? Katniss sure hoped not, that was simply beyond disturbing, even for him.

She reluctantly allowed them to take her out of the building, and let them place her into a nice car. She didn’t know how long they drove for, but then the men were helping her out of the car and Katniss was staring up at a beautiful building, a building that looked like an exotic palace. “Welcome to Hotel River Grand, Miss Everdeen,” one of the men said.

One of them took her arm gently and brought her into the hotel. It took awhile with Katniss wobbling in her heels, but soon they were standing in front of a door. One of the men handed her a key and Katniss struggled with the lock to let herself in. The booze had started to wear off, but not much. She noticed how the men stationed themselves outside of her door and she scowled as she realized that they were also guarding to make sure she didn’t run off before Cato got there.

Before closing the door, Katniss hissed at them, “Don’t you dare listen at this door tonight, or I’ll slap you around tomorrow.”

Then she slammed the door in their faces. Taking a deep breath, Katniss looked around the room and was stunned by its size and beauty. There was a bed in the center so large that she couldn’t even understand what people would need it for. It could probably fit a whole family in the Seam. On the other side of the room was a mini pool looking thing, and there was a sheet of directions on how to work it. Apparently it was called a jacuzzi hot tub, whatever that meant. Katniss eventually found the bathroom and made good use of the toilet until her throat burned so bad she couldn’t use it anymore. She swilled some water from the sink in her mouth and then spat it out, grimacing.

Looking in the mirror, she removed the makeup that Cinna had worked so hard to apply so that it was simply her face staring back at her, not some make believe beauty queen. She returned to the room and sat down on the large bed numbly, unsure of what to do. Simply sit there and wait for him?

On the counter beside the bed was a large wine bottle from Haymitch, but Katniss didn’t really want anymore alcohol. Beside it was a small square boxed addressed to her from President Snow. She looked at it apprehensively before opening it. Inside was a syringe filled with a green liquid. A drug, but what it would do, Katniss did not know. She set it back down, not sure if it was something she would want to take or not.

Suddenly, the door clicked open and Katniss closed her eyes; the time for waiting was over. Cato’s footsteps were loud on the pale marble floor, and Katniss could hear him moving towards her. She did not turn to look at him, could not. Just the thought of looking at his face made her feel ill. He was the man that had taken Peeta Mellark from her and that was something she could never forget. She heard a rustle of clothing as he took off his suit coat and sat on the bed, unlacing his shoes. He was only a few inches from her now, and the heat from his body was scalding her even though they were not touching.

It was silent, and soon he stopped moving around. Katniss could feel the heat of his eyes piercing her back as she ignored him. “Are you going to stare at that wall all night or are you going to come over here,” Cato said gruffly.

Katniss didn’t answer. The words were stuck in her throat and she wanted to turn around and wrap her fingers around his neck until he stopped breathing. She couldn’t do any of these things or her family would die, so she remained as she was, silent. “Fine,” he continued, “I’ll come to you.”

“Don’t you dare touch me,” Katniss finally snapped as she heard him move closer to her on the bed.

“I’ll be doing a lot more than just touching you, so get used to it. Stop acting like a fucking prude,” he responded harshly, “Usually victors end up having to fuck anyone Snow sends there way, you should be glad you only have to fuck me.”

“Maybe I don’t want your filthy, _boyfriend murdering_ hands on me,” Katniss said, her voice rising.

There is an uncomfortable silence for a moment and Katniss can’t breathe. Finally, Cato said softly, dangerously, “Am I so undesirable?”

Katniss turned to look at him, and she hated how handsome he was. She knew he was a desirable man, and it killed her inside because she couldn’t want him, not for what he did to Peeta. Hell, he had been inches from killing her in the arena, the only thing that had stopped him was President Snow. Katniss still hadn’t forgotten the tantrum Cato had thrown over _not_ being able to kill her.

It was sort of like watching a child freak out after having their favorite toy taken away from them. Kind of, in a sick, freaky kind of way.

Suddenly, Cato’s hand was on her arm and he whipped her around completely. He pinned her down on her back and Katniss winced with discomfort because of her hair as the pins dug into her scalp. Cato leaned over her and looked down into her dark grey eyes. “Can I take my hair down first,” she asked quietly, her eyes fixated on his cold ones.

He let her sit back up and pulled her around roughly so that her back was to his chest. Katniss gasped as his fingers found their way into her hair, pulling the pins out one by one, removing the strings of diamonds woven in. She wanted to cry because it was too intimate and it made her feel vulnerable. Her hair spilled down to her back and Cato was moving it over her shoulder so that he could unclasp the necklace.

He did it all without a word. He got up and set everything on the dresser and then turned back to Katniss, studying her. His eyes remained on her face as he slowly began to unbutton his white dress shirt. Katniss watched with sick fascination as more and more of his skin was revealed to her. The dress shirt had fit him tightly, but now it was his actual muscles that she was seeing. Katniss began to shake as his shirt slid to the floor, along with his belt. That landed with a clang.

She closed her eyes because she couldn’t watch anymore. She heard more rustling of clothes and knew that he had removed his pants. She laid on her back, still keeping her eyes tightly closed, terrified of looking at him, terrified of removing her own clothes. She was lost, this was unfamiliar ground and she didn’t know what to do. Her fingers gripped the sheets beneath her in an iron grasp.

There was warmth above her as Cato got onto the bed, crouching above her form. “You’re shaking,” he stated, almost with amusement.

“I’ve never done this before,” she blurted out, turning her face away from his, eyes still screwed shut.

There was silence as Cato absorbed her words. “Not even with Lover Boy?”

She shook her head and said bitterly, “Nope. The man who murdered him gets to be my first. How romantic.”

“I’m not sorry I killed him. My only regret is that I didn’t get to kill you,” Cato said without shame.

Katniss opened her eyes then and the emotion there almost made Cato cringe. Almost. “I regret that too,” Katniss said sadly, thinking of Peeta and she hoped that wherever he was he would not see this.

Cato looked at her body then, and asked her to roll over so he could remove her dress. Katniss did as she was asked and tried to hide her embarrassment. This was not her stylist, Cinna. This was Cato, and he was going to touch her like no man ever had. Within moments the cold air had caused goose bumps to form on her skin and she instinctively wrapped her arms around her naked form to try and warm up. “Slide up and get under the sheets,” Cato demanded firmly.

Katniss crawled under the sheets, but those were cold and that didn’t help too much. Then warmth enveloped her, and Katniss gasped in shock as Cato slid his body under the sheets on top of her own, his body completely pressed against hers. He was warm, so utterly warm and Katniss didn’t want to admit that the warmth was comforting. “So what happens now?”

Cato regarded her, and it was hard to see the emotion in his eyes due to the now dimmed room, but Katniss could tell he was debating on something. “Now? Now I’m going to take you,” he said huskily, his hand running down her body.

Katniss squirmed uncomfortably and tried to force down her anger at Snow for putting her in this ridiculously embarrassing position. There was little time to think of much else as Cato’s mouth descended upon hers, harsh and demanding, conquering. Katniss tried to take control, but this kiss was far beyond any sort of kissing she had ever done. Her teeth clicked against his occasionally, and his tongue found its way to the back of her throat.

She felt utterly consumed by him, and she hated it.

His hands were like iron as he held her to the bed, grinding his hips against hers roughly. Katniss blushed as she felt his erection, because she didn’t really have any experience with those either. It was hard against her stomach and he was pressing against her so hard that she could feel it pulse hotly against her. She didn’t dare look down at it.

She moaned into his mouth with surprise as his hands found her breasts, massaging them roughly, her nipples being stimulated by his palms. It felt good, as much as she didn’t want to admit it, and the wetness building between her legs felt like a betrayal to Peeta’s memory. She could feel Cato’s erection leaking wetness on her stomach, and she was terrified of the moment that he would put it in her body.

Would it hurt as much as they said it would?

“Stop thinking,” Cato murmured against her skin as he kissed his way down to her stomach, as if he knew her mind was drifting away from him. Katniss’s hands gravitated into his hair and she couldn’t believe how soft it felt. Was there nothing flawed about this man aside from his personality?

His mouth moved down to her most private place and Katniss cried out in surprised pleasure. The sensation of his tongue moving _right there_ felt so good, better than she thought it ever could. Then his tongue was dipping into her core and Katniss wished he could just keep doing that forever. She wanted to feel guilty, but right now she just wasn’t able to think about how wrong it all was. Not with Cato’s face buried between her thighs, listening to him moan into her formerly untouched region. At least he didn’t seem to be harboring any guilty feelings. He didn’t even have to like her; he just had to want her.

Then Cato was moving over her again, his nose inches from her own, his green eyes dilated massively with arousal. Katniss flushed as she realized that she could smell herself on his mouth. “Now what,” Katniss asked, beginning to get nervous again as she stared into the self-proclaimed killing machine’s eyes.

He gripped his hardness in his hand and placed the large tip at her opening, causing Katniss to tense up immediately. It felt large against her small opening, but the tip was wet against her. “Now I make you mine, Girl on Fire,” Cato said darkly.

And then he was sliding into her. Katniss’s eyes opened wide as pain wracked her lower half. It hurt, but he didn’t move after entering her. He simply tensed above her body, and he was shaking and Katniss didn’t really understand why. She didn’t want him in her, she didn’t want to share this with him, but here she was and she had no choice. She was full of him and that was all that consumed her mind.

He started to grind against her, not thrusting yet. The grinding sent pleasure through her again as he rubbed against her pleasure spot, and then his fingers began to touch her there as well. She could feel herself relaxing once more, and the pain began to evaporate gently after many ministrations to her lower regions.

He began to move slowly then, in and out. The feelings were too much for Katniss and she could feel something beginning to build within her. “I hate you so much,” she gasped against his shoulder, biting him roughly.

He grunted in response, changing his angle as he moved in and out of her body. Katniss could feel every inch of him inside her, stroking her inner walls gently. It felt alright, but she still liked it better when he touched her down there, _oh, oh yeah, please do that again,_ Katniss thought vaguely as his hand found its way south again.

It was hard to pretend that he was anyone other than who he was. Katniss had tried to place Peeta’s face into her mind so that she could imagine it was him, but his image kept fading away, and then Cato was all that was left.

She grabbed on to his powerful shoulders and pulled him closer even though she should have been pushing him far, far away. Her mouth found his neck and she latched on roughly, biting him hard. He seemed to like that a lot because his hips jerked against hers, so she bit him again.

Cato groaned and thrust harder, his large hands on her rear now, tilting her hips up so that she was almost bent in half. The new position caused Katniss to see stars and suddenly she was arching against him, crying out because it all felt amazing and she felt herself tighten around him.

“Oh my God,” Cato moaned, his hips moving faster.

He lifted her legs up around his hips and he rocketed his hips against hers quickly. “So fucking close,” he said thickly, leaning down to attach his mouth to one of her breasts.

Katniss moaned, and let her eyes wander across his face, which had transformed into something other than she was used to seeing on him. He tightened his arms around her and stiffened, his eyes suddenly locked on her face as she felt something wet fill her inside as he released, and he whispered something unintelligible.

She looked away from him because she was uncomfortable with the look he gave her at that last moment. It looked like he would have done anything to stay in this forsaken room with her forever, and Katniss did not want that. Not in this lifetime. Maybe in another.

She had shamed Peeta, herself, and her family enough to last a lifetime.

Cato collapsed beside her, breathing heavily. They didn’t speak, and as the pleasure began to melt away the guilt began to seep back in. Katniss felt ill, because she had enjoyed it, he had made sure she enjoyed it. It was all too much and she wanted to be alone and away from him.

He rolled over to face her and ran a hand over her stomach and dipped it down between her legs to feel her soft opening. His fingers came away wet with his seed as small amounts dripped out of her. “You should stay lying down for awhile,” he said hoarsely.

“Why,” Katniss responded numbly.

He touched her stomach again, drawing patterns there. “I don’t know. I’ve just heard it’s easier to become pregnant if you let it, uh, settle in right after it.”

“Oh,” Katniss said, humiliated by the idea of the whole pregnancy.

Silence fell between them once more. What was there to say? He killed her boyfriend, the only boy she had ever kissed; he had almost killed her too. She could barely stand to lie there with him, no matter how good his body could make her feel. No wonder the women of the Capitol all desired a night with him.

No matter how desirable he was, Katniss was not about to sleep beside him like a romantic lover, as if they were in love. That was too much for her, and she would not sleep beside the man she wanted to kill, kiss, hurt, and copulate with- in no particular order.

If he didn’t leave, she would probably do it all over again with him in the morning. _Willingly_.

So Katniss said the only thing she could think of.

“Can you leave now?” she croaked.

His mouth was on her ear, and his hand hovered above one of her breasts as if he were about to caress it. He seemed shocked by her request and didn’t say anything for many moments, but he did retract his hand from her body. “If that is what you want,” he replied tonelessly.

Katniss turned away from him so that he wouldn’t see her tears. “It is,” she said thickly.

He left the bed and pulled his clothes on slowly, as if expecting her to ask him to stay. Then, with one long, last look at her naked form he left the room, the door shutting behind him with barely a click.

Katniss cried herself to sleep.

In the morning, it was Effie who came to collect her. Katniss woke up with Effie sitting by her side on the edge of the bed. “How are you, sweetie?”

Katniss bit her lip hard and shook her head. Effie ran a hand through Katniss’s hair gently and whispered, “You will be all right.”

Nine months later, Katniss ended up in labor for seventeen hours with one of the hardest births the midwife of District 12 had ever seen.

The girl could survive the Hunger Games, but it was the birth of her first and only child that almost killed her.

 

:::

 

_“What’s the matter, Girl on Fire, don’t have the guts to fight me?”_

_Katniss cried out in pain as her face met the ground again. It hurt, everything hurt bad, but every time she glanced over at Peeta’s body the pain all seemed to disappear because just the sight of him was enough to numb her to it all. She could hear the man that had killed Peeta coming closer, but she couldn’t make herself care enough to stand up again._

_He was going to kill her anyway, why not make it easy?_

_A large hand found its way into her hair, yanking her up off of the ground. Katniss met the eyes of Peeta’s murderer and saw her own death there. “Just get it over with,” she muttered in a monotone voice._

_He sneered at her in disgust. “What, I kill Lover Boy and you just give up? Pathetic. I was hoping for more out of you.”_

_Katniss didn’t respond. She didn’t care. She watched him raise his sword and felt him place the tip against her neck. She was still gazing into his eyes as he did this and she felt her blood begin to trickle down her neck slowly. She sees the intention to kill her flash through his eyes as he prepares to shove the blade through her throat, and his eyes glitter with triumph._

_“Cease and desist all movement. Drop your weapon and step away from the girl. We have our winners for the Games!”_

_Katniss watched as disbelief and horror flashed through her would be murderer’s eyes. He did not want to step away from her. Rage took over and Cato flung her to the floor, screaming. “You’re fucking kidding me! She’s mine, she’s fucking mine! I had her, what is this fucking_ bullshit _? I won!”_

_Katniss simply sat where she had fallen and bled, watching with detached interest as the District 2 tribute ranted and raved murderously until someone came to get them. They had to sedate Cato when they came to pick the pair up._

_Katniss simply stared at Peeta’s body numbly._ I was Peeta’s, not yours, _she thought absently._

 

:::

 

_Five years later…_

_  
_

Camellia Primrose Everdeen had hair as black as night and eyes as green as emeralds. Haymitch always told her that she looked like her mother, but Camellia wasn’t sure she agreed with him. Besides, he always smelled funny, even when he babysat her. Camellia’s mother, Katniss, was always yelling at him to stop drinking but it appeared that old Haymitch never listened. Whatever that meant.

She poked at the goose in front of her and giggled as Haymitch yelled, “Stop tormenting my geese! Dammit girl!”

Haymitch picked her up and walked her back home, grumbling about her bad behavior. She wrapped her small arms around his neck and inhaled his scent even if it smelled sort of bad. He was familiar and the only male figure in her life aside from Katniss’s friend Gale.

“I don’t understand it, why can’t you leave my geese alone?” Haymitch growled as they neared Camellia’s home.

Camellia smiled up at him and laughed, “Because they make funny noises when I poke them, silly!”

Haymitch rolled his eyes. “Unbelievable,” he muttered.

Haymitch soon handed her off to her mother, who looked good after returning from her daily hunt. Camellia always begged her mother to take her out hunting, but Katniss always said no, that she was too young still. “How’s my pretty girl doing,” Katniss said lightly, taking her daughter into the kitchen.

“Good, Mommy,” Camellia said dutifully.

“Can you behave yourself while I fix up this wild turkey?”

Camellia nodded. “Is Haymitch coming for dinner?”

Katniss laughed. “I don’t know; you made him so angry by bullying his geese. You know better than to chase them around his yard and poke them with sticks. That behavior is certainly not from my family. You sure won’t catch my sister poking animals for fun.”

“So…I can’t poke Aunt Prim’s cat?”

Katniss laughed as she dressed the turkey, “Certainly not. Prim wouldn’t appreciate that, almost as much as Haymitch doesn’t appreciate you harassing his geese!”

Camellia’s eyes grew sly as she decided to ask the question that she knew would ruffle her mother’s feathers. “Is Haymitch my daddy?”

Katniss dropped the knife she had been dressing the bird with. Her lips formed a thin line and then Camellia felt bad for asking the question. Her mother didn’t like talking about Daddy. “No, Camellia, Haymitch is not your father. Your father doesn’t live here, remember? He’s far away.”

“Why can’t I see him?”

Katniss continued to work with the meat in front of her and sawed into it harder than she really meant to. She yelped as she cut her finger unexpectedly, “Shit.”

Camellia sat quietly, waiting for her answer. Katniss stuck her finger in her mouth and tasted the coppery blood fill her mouth. “Because,” she said around her finger, “I don’t want you to see him.”

The same answer as always, and every time it still hurt Camellia. “Does he…does he want to see me?”

Katniss wrapped her bleeding finger in some gauze. She was silent for a moment, staring out the window. “Yes. Yes he does,” she said softly.

Camellia felt a little better at this answer, but then she became angry, confused. She didn’t understand why she was the only little girl at school that had no father to come home to, no father play with her. Everyone else had one, everyone except Camellia. “Then why don’t you let me see him? Why do you ruin _everything_!”

Crying, Camellia ran upstairs to her room and locked the door. She crawled into bed and bawled her eyes out because none of it was fair. There was soft knocking on the door, but Camellia ignored it. “Camellia, please. You don’t understand. I love you, isn’t that enough?”

Camellia covered her ears and cried, “Go away, I don’t want to talk to you. I want _him_.”

All her life Camellia had dreamed of meeting her father, and the more Katniss hid him from her, the more she wanted to see him. Sometimes, when she was alone, she liked to dream about what he would be like, and if he would keep her safe when the sky cried and lightening lit the night. Would he tell her stories? Or would he simply kiss her forehead and tell her everything was okay?

Defeated, Katniss left the door and went to the kitchen, pulling out the bottle of whiskey she kept under the table. She poured herself a glass and had a drink, slowly sipping it. She wasn’t sure how long it would be before someone told her daughter about the Hunger Games at school. Camellia was still too young to know about it, so there was no way that she could know her mother was a murder or that her father was one too.

After eating dinner by herself, Katniss went up to bed. It was about an hour later when she felt someone crawl into the bed next to her. Katniss smiled to herself, already knowing who it was. “Mommy?”

A small hand shook her shoulder gently. Katniss rolled over slightly to let the child know she was awake. “What’s up little dove?”

Camellia curled up next to her on the bed. “I’m sorry, Mommy. I’m sorry I said you were bad. Don’t leave me too, okay?”

Katniss sighed and held her daughter close. “It’s alright, Camellia, I’m never going to leave you. You know that, right?”

Camellia nodded and lay next to her. Her eyes fell on the photo on the dresser beside the bed. “Who is he?”

Katniss’s grey eyes fell on the young man’s face, his bright blue eyes and soft blonde hair. “His name was Peeta Mellark. He was…a close friend of mine.”

“Where is he now?”

Katniss looked away from the photo. “He’s gone.”

The five year old was confused. “Gone like Daddy?”

Katniss closed her eyes and rolled over, trembling. “No, not like your father. You remember when Aunt Prim’s goat fell over and stopped moving?”

Camellia nodded. This she understood. Katniss continued and said, “Peeta’s gone, just like Aunt Prim’s goat.”

Camellia sensed the change in her mother’s mood and snuggled in closer. “That’s sad, Mommy. I’m sorry he’s gone. I’m sure he was nice like Mr. Gale.”

Katniss bit her lip to keep from crying.  
  
:::

 

_Five more years later…_

_  
_

“Why are we getting all dressed up, Mom?”

Katniss sighed, braiding her hair quickly. “Because, we have to go somewhere and it requires us to look good.”

Camellia refused to braid her hair and simply brushed it out so that it was long and flowing. “Are we going to the Capitol like Haymitch said?”

“Yes, I have business there and so does Haymitch,” Katniss responded evasively.

“Is it the Hunger Games? Are you mentoring again this year?”

Katniss shook her head, pulling Camellia out the door. “No, I’m not mentoring this time. Haymitch is though. It is just time that you come with me to see the Capitol.”

Camellia was excited. She had heard so much about the Capitol from school, and she was eager to see what it looked like. The Hunger Games sounded terrifying, and it had shocked her to find out that her mother had been a winner of the games before. Hopefully her mother would show her all around the Capitol.

Her mother led her to the train station with Haymitch and Camellia held his hand gladly. They had patched up their relationship when Camellia had stopped poking his geese. However, sometimes she would poke them when she passed by his house when he wasn’t looking. She liked to think of it as a poke and run. At the station the trio was met by a woman with wild hair and even crazier clothing. “Who is that,” Camellia whispered loudly to Haymitch.

“Hello, Effie,” Katniss said, embracing the other woman.

“Katniss, oh I’ve missed you so sweetie! You need to visit more often! Oh. Oh my. Is that?”

Katniss nodded wordlessly as Effie stared at her daughter. Effie laughed nervously and said, “Well, she looks so much like her father. Good heavens. Who would have thought?”

Katniss stiffened slightly, but then allowed herself a slight smile. “Yes, she does have that look about her, doesn’t she?”

Camellia looked from the strange woman to her mother. “Can we go to the Capitol now? I want to see it!”

Effie bent down and pinched Camellia’s cheeks. “Yes sweetie, of course we can go!”

Camellia wasn’t sure she liked this crazy woman so much, but her mother and Haymitch seemed to tolerate her. They boarded some large train and then were zipping off to the Capitol. There was so much food and sparkly things and Camellia loved it all.

“Camellia, stop eating so many sweets, you are going to be sick before we even get to the Capitol,” Katniss said sternly.

Her stomach already hurt, but she wasn’t about to tell her mother that.

It seemed like ages before they arrived at the Capitol, but when they did Camellia was glued to the window, staring in awe at the many large buildings and fountains and structures everywhere. Katniss bit her lip, because Camellia’s reaction reminded her of Peeta and how he had reacted when he saw the Capitol for the first time.

Sometimes, at night, Katniss could pretend that her daughter was Peeta’s. When Camellia was sleeping she was so peaceful, so small and delicate. In her waking hours however, Camellia was utterly wild spirited and too much of a go getter for her own good, wanting to do things her own way and without help. These traits, Katniss had long ago decided, had definitely come from Cato.

The moment they all stepped off of the train they were bombarded by paparazzi. Katniss sighed; President Snow had come to collect his reward. The Capitol had waited ten long years to see the daughter of the victors Katniss and Cato, and now they would wait no more.

_Let the circus begin_ , Katniss thought cynically.

Haymitch picked up Camellia so that they could get through the crowd faster. The young girl was still in awe of the new world around her, but Katniss could also tell that the people were far too overwhelming for her.

They entered the building where the new tributes would be held for this year. Katniss was told she would stay on the District 12 floor with Haymitch and the tributes even though she was not officially listed as a mentor this year. This year she was here to entertain the Capitol with her child. They all stopped in the lobby, and Katniss went up to the desk to make sure they had the proper accommodations for the large group that would be living on the twelfth floor.

Camellia tuned her out and gazed around the building, watching the odd people mill about. It was then that the most handsome man Camellia had ever seen walked into the building with a group of serious looking people, all richly dressed. The man had blonde hair and a stern face, and she could tell his build was athletic, even through his suit. He was talking to a large, scary looking man on his right, away from Camellia, so she wasn’t embarrassed about openly gaping at him.

“Oh my,” Effie giggled, “the girl acts like she’s never seen her father before!”

Time stopped for Camellia at those words. She turned to Effie, a shocked look on her face. The amusement dropped off of Effie’s face as Haymitch face palmed. Effie then said timidly, “She hasn’t seen Cato before, has she?”

Haymitch shook his head, “As always, Effie, you are the master of true tact. I think the girl is going to pee her pants in excitement now. Camellia, if so, refrain.”

At this point Katniss had now walked back to the group and found her daughter to be slack jawed. “What did I miss?”

Camellia took off running, and Katniss bolted after her when she saw the District 2 procession disappearing into another part of the building. “Camellia? _Stop_!”

The little girl was fast, but her mother had longer legs. Katniss wrapped her arms around her daughter and dragged her back to an elevator that would take them to the twelfth floor. Camellia kicked and screamed, wailing, “I want to see him, I want to see him again!”

The screams broke Effie’s heart, but she could understand why Katniss had not allowed the girl to know about the former District 2 victor. So far he had been the mentor of six victors in the Hunger Games over the past ten years. If anything, he knew how to create cold hearted killers. Rumor had it that he was helping to illegally train District 2 kids for the reaping, just as he had been illegally trained.

Not that anyone would mention it out loud.

  
:::  
  
  
Once everyone had settled in upstairs, Katniss had sent Camellia to her room, telling her to calm down. Haymitch sat beside Katniss on the couch on their floor lobby and handed her a drink. “Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later,” he said mildly.

“I would have preferred for it to have happened later, old man,” Katniss growled back, sending a glare Effie’s way.

“Ah. You are as charming as ever. I remember when I was your mentor. You were such a grouchy bitch,” Haymitch stated.

“Not much has changed,” Effie piped in.

They all sat in amiable silence, knowing that the two new tributes from District 12 were many floors below getting prepared by their stylists. Katniss always felt odd being on the other side of the games now, helping the children get trained.

“You know,” Haymitch began, “I always amazed by how you kept him out of her life for so long. That is some deep seated hatred right there. However, is it really hatred? Because I’m not sure anymore.”

“Don’t even say it,” Katniss said.

“I’m serious. I thought for sure that night two years ago he had finally got his way when he cornered you in your room,” Haymitch continued.

“Oh boy,” Effie muttered, covering her ears, “I don’t need to hear this. Inappropriate.”

“Haymitch,” Katniss said in a warning tone.

“What year was that? Oh yeah, the year we trained a winner. You were so happy that one of our tributes won so of _course_ we celebrated. But then, ooh it happened then. You went to bed early and you didn’t know that I was walking right behind you, because you left one of your rings at the party and I wanted to make sure you got it. I was so surprised to see none other than the mentor from District 2 appear at your door to _congratulate_ you on your victory,” Haymitch said, slurring his words slightly as he took a drink from his flask.

Katniss closed her eyes in pure mortification. “You didn’t just say that. Please world, just erase this moment and Haymitch Abernathy.”

Haymitch pretended that he didn’t hear his former student’s pleas. “In fact, he seemed to think he needed to come inside your room to continue to _congratulate_ you. Even after he shoved his tongue in your mouth. You sure have an odd way of expressing your hatred for people.”

Katniss slammed her hand down on the table. “That’s enough, Haymitch. It’s fucking enough. What I do with my private life is none of your damn business. He’s asked to see Camellia plenty of times; I’m just not willing to share her with him! He doesn’t deserve her.”

“Excuse me, I really don’t mean to interrupt this lovely conversation, but can I borrow Katniss for a moment?”

All three heads snapped around to the new voice. “Oh Cinna, thank God,” Effie said breathlessly, uncovering her ears.

Katniss stood up and walked over to him, beet red with embarrassment. “You didn’t hear all of that did you?”

Cinna only grinned. “I would like to prep you for the opening ball tonight. I have missed dressing you up so much.”

Katniss smiled. “Oh I bet you do. I don’t suppose you know more about the opening ball this year?”

The opening ball was generally a night where all the old victors came and mingled with former sponsors and other people from the Capitol. It was an interesting affair, one that Katniss and Haymitch would have rather skipped every year. Alas, they could not.

Cinna put a hand on her back and led her out of the room to so that he could take her to be prepped. “Unfortunately, due to the circumstance of your daughter being here – I would love to meet her by the way – President Snow has decided that you are going to be the opening couple.”

“Me and who?”

She asked even though she knew the answer.

Cinna raised an eyebrow. “You and Cato of course. The opening dance is yours. The crowd is going to lose their minds with excitement over this.”

“Joy,” Katniss muttered.

When they passed Cato in the hall things went from bad to worse. He raised an eyebrow as he watched Cinna escort Katniss to the styling room. “Ah, it’s good to see that they have hired someone to dress her. Otherwise who knows what that savage would put on,” Cato said acidly.

“Savage my ass,” Katniss hissed back, trying to get around Cinna’s body.

“Ouch, you hurt my feelings,” Cato responded mockingly.

Cinna stood between the two of them, trying to hold on to Katniss to keep her from flying at Cato. “Enough! Lord in heaven, when will you two ever grow up and get past this ridiculousness?”

“When she stops being a baby thieving, child hogging, all around ice _bitch_ ,” Cato snapped, turning on his heel and swaggering off in his expensive shoes.

Cinna grimaced. “Yikes. He pulled the daddy card. I think he won that battle, Katniss.”

Katniss scowled after Cato and pretended that she didn’t noticed how his pants flattered his ass. It didn’t. Definitely not. “He didn’t win anything,” Katniss said, “he’s simply foul.”

Cinna patted her shoulder gently. “How about we get you dressed?”

“Why, so I don’t look like a savage?”

Cinna didn’t really know what to say to that so he chose to avoid it. “Are you going to be able to function the whole night on his arm? I’m getting concerned.”

“You should be,” Katniss said.

  
:::  
  
  
It all felt so familiar, except this time Katniss was waiting to be picked up before entering the ball room. “He’s late,” she hissed at Cinna.

“The man is always late, I believe he does it to piss you off,” Cinna replied neutrally.

“Well, it certainly works. No one will believe it was him wasting their time out there, they will automatically assume the girl from District 12 is the tardy one,” Katniss argued, pacing in her heels, nearly falling over.

“Stop your bitching, I’m fucking here,” growled a familiar voice.

Cinna kept a smile on his face and muttered through clenched teeth, “Speak of the devil.”

Cato strode into the room like he owned the place and ended up in front of Katniss. He gave her a hard look and grabbed her arm in a vise like grip. “Maybe I wouldn’t have to complain if you weren’t so late,” Katniss said angrily.

He pulled her out of the room and down the hall, and Katniss could hear the loud murmur of hundreds of people just around the corner. She felt her nerves begin to break through and she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to pull this dance off in front of all those people.

Suddenly, Cato pushed her against the wall. “You know how to dance, right? You aren’t going to embarrass me with your slum ways?”

Katniss slapped him, outraged. “My slum ways? Excuse me? I’ll be fine out there, just make sure you hold your own.”

Then he grinned at her, his teeth as bright and perfect as ever. He was handsome, and age had certainly improved his looks even further. He was tall and broad shouldered, his suit tight to his form. His eyes traveled up and down her body slowly and Katniss flushed. “It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you,” he said to her, “you look good.”

“Thank you,” Katniss said stiffly, surprised by the compliment from him.

Then he was pulling her out into the light as hundreds of camera flashes went off. Katniss squinted against the assault of flashes and Cato simply smiled into them, always comfortable in the spotlight. Katniss stood there beside him, breathless in the face of so many smiling, excited faces. The music started, signaling it was time for them to officially open the ball.

Cato moved as if to pull her onto the dance floor, just like he was supposed to, but Katniss stopped him and the crowd made some noises of confusion. Cato looked at her, confused and slightly angry that she wasn’t doing what she was supposed to be doing, but the look on her face stopped him from saying anything harsh. He could see her struggling with herself, as if she were about to tell him something. Cato also saw the moment that she shut her thoughts down.

“Ready?” He asked, irritated that she hadn’t told him whatever it was that she had been thinking so seriously about.

Katniss nodded and allowed him to grasp her hand in his as he pulled her around the room. He was a great dancer and it didn’t surprise Katniss. He was so good that she felt like she was floating on air, and that was interesting because she hadn’t even had a sip of alcohol yet. She could feel the eyes of everyone on them and it made her feel slightly self conscious. At least Cato never let her stumble, as always. He never allowed her to embarrass herself in front of everyone.

In fact, for the past few years Katniss had begun to suspect that the bartenders watered her alcohol down. She had also begun to suspect it was Cato that had paid them off because he would always come up to her and make some snide comment on how good it was to see her _not_ blasted out of her mind at a Capitol party. Secretly she was glad, because at least she wasn’t puking and sick by the end of the night, not like those first few years when she had followed in Haymitch’s footsteps. Perhaps Cato felt like he had some sort of duty to make sure Katniss didn’t humiliate herself publicly so that their daughter didn’t have to hear about it later.

The world spun as he twirled her elegantly, and the cameras continued to flash. It wasn’t often that the Capitol got to see one of their favorite pairs dance together- and civilly. Katniss always tried her best, because who knew when Camellia was going to see a picture of the two of them?

The tune changed and then it was time for everyone to join in. The party had been officially opened. Katniss let her hand go slack in Cato’s as if ready to slip away, but his hand tightened on hers unexpectedly. Katniss looked up at his eyes questioningly, and he only smiled at her. “I’m not done teaching you how to dance, you aren’t getting away yet, Katniss,” he said, chuckling.

Katniss rolled her eyes at him exaggeratedly. He pulled her closer and she let him, her chest pressed up against his. She had to crane her neck back to look up at him; otherwise she would be staring straight at his chin. Katniss allowed it all without a fuss because she knew Cato was always snide to her for a reason, and it wasn’t exactly because he hated her. At least, she didn’t think he hated her anymore since that would be a long time to regret not getting to kill someone, especially after you had a kid with them.

Cato liked seeing Katniss once every year and Katniss would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy their verbal sparring matches. The competition between them had never ended, and soon the Hunger Games became just another rivalry between them to see who the best mentor was. It had taken years, of course, for them to be able to tolerate each other completely, but it had happened over time.

Cato moved them toward a corner of the dance floor. He suddenly asked, “Did she like the present I sent for her birthday?”

Katniss sighed mentally, _here we go again, try to be nice, Katniss._ “Yes,” Katniss replied, “Of course, I didn’t tell her it was from you.”

Cato smiled sadly. “I knew you wouldn’t. I figured she would like the hunting knife though.”

Katniss nodded enthusiastically. “She loved it. She made me let her fix up the kills we brought back every day. How did you even find out that I had started teaching her how to hunt anyway?”

He grinned broadly, smug as ever. He pulled Katniss even closer, his lips brushing her ear gently, causing her to shiver. “I have my ways,” he whispered.

Katniss felt bad, deep down, because she knew she hadn’t been fair to him. He wasn’t exactly the same boy he had been at eighteen; he wasn’t the same kid that had thrown a fit over not killing her. Katniss would have been lying to herself if she thought he hadn’t changed in her eyes, at least a little. Sure, he was still a harsh career from District 2, filthy rich, smug, arrogant, everything she had always despised, but she had also seen a different side of him in private, during those times she didn’t really want to admit happened.

She had kept Camellia from Cato originally because she had feared and hated him. Eventually it became an issue of Peeta, because how could she betray his memory further by allowing herself to become a family with the man that had killed him? She could do it now, she realized, she could tolerate Cato more and more every year and it wasn’t exactly the happiest revelation she had ever had.

But there is was.

Then she told him the thing she had never thought she would say.

Cato watched as her lips moved, but he couldn’t hear the words. “What did you say?” He asked loudly over the droning sound of the people around them.

Katniss moved closer to him, so close that he could smell her scent, the scent that never failed to arouse him. “I said,” she whispered into his ear, “that I will take you to see our daughter tonight.”

He stepped back from her, his face an emotionless mask. His eyes studied her face intently as he said, “You’re not lying to me, are you? Don’t lie to me.”

Katniss shook her head, because she knew how much this separation had hurt him. “I’m not lying. Not about this.”

There was an awkward pause between them as they both absorbed her words. Then Katniss felt all of the tension drain out of his body. Within moments his mask melted away and his mouth was on hers, his hand in her hair. The party’s attention swung back to the couple instantly as the word spread like lightening. The crowd went wild because no one had been expecting _that_. President Snow clapped politely as if he had been expecting it all along. Maybe he had.

“Oh! _Oh I just love it_ ,” Effie cried out, clapping her hands excitedly.

Brutus rolled his eyes and downed his martini, moving away from the ecstatic woman, looking for Enobaria. Haymitch glared after Brutus as if the whole thing was his fault, and Finnick Odair only grinned. Johanna Mason sipped her punch and pretended to gag herself. She muttered, “Jeez, Kids killing kids, enemies eating each other’s faces, when does this freak show ever stop?”

Finnick leaned over and said laughingly, “I don’t think it ever does.”

 

:::

 

“I knew you couldn’t resist my charms,” Cato said smugly, the sweat drying on his naked form.

Katniss scowled at him. “Oh please, it’s you that can’t resist _me_ , get the story right.”

He didn’t respond as he leaned back into the pillows. The room was dark and the bed was soft and Katniss was surprisingly alright with it all. For the first time in a long time, Peeta Mellark’s ghost wasn’t hovering inside her head. Katniss had led Cato back to her room sometime after the party with the full intention of taking him to Camellia, but one thing led to another and here they were once more.

Katniss had never imagined that there would be a third time, not after she made the mistake the _last_ time.

“You lied,” he whispered against her forehead.

“About what?”

“You said you would take me to see our daughter last night. It’s the crack of dawn now,” Cato said.

Katniss laughed. “Technicalities. I’ll still take you in the morning.”

His hand ghosted through her hair. “You’ll let me stay the whole night? That’s a first. I was beginning to think you were terrified of me smelling your morning breath.”

Katniss elbowed him hard. “No. That wasn’t it smartass. It was just…I couldn’t accept you.”

“What do you mean, accept me? You sure fucked me, and I think you liked it,” he snapped.

Katniss rolled her eyes at his vulgar words. For a man from one of the richest Districts he sure had a mouth on him, and here she was from the slums of District 12. “It has to do with…Peeta,” she whispered.

She felt him stiffen beside her at the mention of Peeta. “What about him,” he asked gruffly, and Katniss would have thought it was jealousy if he had been any other man.

“I loved him. For so long. You took him away from me. I just felt like I was committing a crime being with you. It was like, if you left before dawn I could just pretend it was all a dream when I woke up, because you wouldn’t be there.”

He wasn’t offended. After all, originally he had wanted to kill her. “What changed,” he asked curiously.

“Time I suppose, and the realization that he wasn’t coming back. We all do what we have to do to live in the Hunger Games. I’ll always love him, but wallowing in my misery over him for the rest of my life is not something Camellia needs to deal with. My pain was hurting not only me, but her too.”

Cato was silent, absorbing her many words. He turned them over and over in his head and decided that he liked what he had heard from her. “Do you know why I came to your room that night, the year your tribute won the Hunger Games,” he said quietly.

“To congratulate me,” Katniss said dryly, pressing her naked body against his.

He chuckled, enjoying the feel of her skin against his. “Well, yeah that and I wanted you. Do you know how many years I’d spent trying to figure out what was missing in my relationships? Up until that point I had thought all women were just there for my amusement because none of them could seem to satisfy me. That night, when your tribute won, you lit up like a torch, glorious and proud. No one could touch you. I knew what I was missing then, and shit, I fucking hated that revelation. It was like seeing you back when you were sixteen, at the beginning of the Games, all determined with that ‘fuck everyone’ attitude of yours.”

Katniss was silent, terrified of speaking and stopping his confession. Cato laughed bitterly then and continued, “Ten years ago, I slept with a virgin girl who hated my guts. I killed her boyfriend and took her into my bed, just to see how much more it would break her. Instead, I ended up wanting more, because she was the Girl on Fire and everyone wanted a piece of her, and I was the one she didn’t want. Even though I’d had her body, she was the only unattainable thing in my life because she didn’t want me.”

“There’s been no one else,” Katniss whispered.

Cato’s body seemed to sag in some form of relief at her words, “What? Is that even possible?”

She hit him once more. “Yes, as surprising as it may be, not everyone is a whore like you. I had a daughter to care for.”

He laughed and Katniss could feel it reverberate in his body. She yelped as he pulled her on top of his body. She looked down at him, frowning, trying to get the hair out of her face. He kissed her then, and she let him, softening under his touch. She moved against his body and cried out as he entered her again for the second time that night. She moved her hips on his slowly, and he watched her with hooded eyes as she moved above him.

His hands fell to her hips as he guided her up and down slowly, unlike their fast coupling from earlier. Katniss leaned down and let her lips cover his mouth, and he buried a hand in her hair, pulling her as close as she could get. He moaned into her mouth softly, and then rested his forehead against hers. “I’ve missed this with you,” he said roughly.

He tried to pick up the pace and Katniss forced her hips to move agonizingly slow, killing him in the most delicious of ways. “I know,” she replied, running her hands down his chest as he writhed under her, completely under her control for once.

He didn’t leave that room.

She didn’t ask him to.

  
:::

 

Camellia had gone to sleep the night before crying. She had locked her door and sulked for the entire night, furious at her mother. She fell into a restless sleep and didn’t wake up until the next morning when a gentle hand touched her head.

“Wake up, princess,” an unfamiliar voice said.

Camellia jerked awake, slightly worried about who was in her room. She opened her eyes and rolled over to look at who was at her bedside. She gasped in shock at who she saw, unable to breathe, unsure if she was dreaming or not. Beside her bed stood the man from the other day, the one the crazy haired lady had said flippantly said was her father.

He shifted from one foot to another, seeming nervous as she studied him, as if he were worried that she would reject him. Camellia stared at him some more and decided that he was perfect and that there was no way she was ever letting him leave again. Camellia stood up on her bed and launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck as he caught her, grunting in surprise, “Whoa, easier there kiddo!”

Camellia almost cried, because he was warm, strong, and she felt safe in his arms just like she always dreamed she would.

Beyond the pair, Katniss stood in the doorway watching them silently. She met Cato’s eyes over her daughters shoulder, and he smiled at her. Katniss felt her lips jerk up slightly in response and she nodded to him, walking out of the room completely to give them some peace.

In the lobby, Haymitch sat drinking a steaming cup of coffee, hung over like no other. He gave Katniss a look and grinned sloppily. “Well, sweetheart, looks like you believe in life after Peeta Mellark after all. Who would have known, eh?”

Katniss sat down next to Haymitch and rested her head on his shoulder, staring out the window as the sun rose in the sky. _Yes. Perhaps there was._

They could faintly hear Camellia babbling her life story to Cato, and Katniss smiled because Camellia certainly didn’t get her yammer mouth from her, and that was alright. Occasionally they could hear Cato’s deeper voice respond, but it was Camellia dominating the conversation.

The sound of Effie’s heels alerted the pair of her presence before they even saw her. “Someone looks groggy this morning,” Haymitch muttered as Effie wobbled into view.

“Too much champagne,” she replied, eyeing his coffee, “Who’s with Camellia?”

“Cato,” Katniss replied and Effie’s eyes bugged out.

“Oh. Oh my. That was unexpected,” Effie said, sinking down on the couch on the other side of Katniss.

The trio sat and watched the light spill over the Capitol. The Hunger Games would be starting any day now, but at least there was life after Peeta Mellark.

And maybe love if Katniss was lucky.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this fic! Please let me know if you enjoyed it :)
> 
> It was a long journey writing it. I have still been entertaining the idea of writing a companion piece to this fic, but since the Hunger Games fandom seems to have died down for the moment, perhaps I should wait to even start writing it.
> 
> Also, I have two other Cato/Katniss fics currently on this site if you so desire to read more. 'Through the Hole in the Wall' and 'the Art of Winning' are both available for your enjoyment to read!


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